Traditionally, Furries have been known for their acceptance and friendship for anyone who wishes to become a member of the community.  Everyone understands this.  If you ask a Furry why they love this community, they will tell you as much.  All Furries understand the value of being accepted and befriended by total strangers.

There are some Furries who wish to become gate keepers.  They want to define narrow parameters of “Furry” and to use that definition to refuse entry into “their fandom”.  The Half Furries are obsessed with exposing anyone who does not fit their narrow definition.  They seek the infidels so that they can expel them by publicly shaming them, calling them out in chat rooms and on social media.  They will even call you out.  They know that you do not fit their current definition of “unwanted”, but even the pure must be tested to ensure that you have not strayed from the path of truth.  They are constantly seeking any sign of discrepancy with their ideology.  If you do not publicly acknowledge their views as being the one-true-god of Furrydom, they will have you banned from your meets – even if they do not attend those meets themselves.  They will have you banned from chat room and forums – even if they do not frequent those spaces themselves.  They will have you publicly denounced on social media.  They will scour your online history for anything that supports their reasons for having you expelled from all-things-furry.  If they do not find anything that directly supports their reasoning, they will fabricate it.  There are no taboos when it comes to purifying the flock in the name of “Pure Furry”.

The definition of “Pure Furry” is difficult, if not impossible, to nail down, so the likelihood of making a mistake is extremely high.  Half Furries are constantly changing their narrow view of what “Pure Furries” look like.  It can change daily.  You may be safe today, but that can change overnight.

Half Furries will gladly receive all of the benefits of being in the community, but they are unwilling to reciprocate.  You must extend every courtesy and benefit to them, without the expectation of receiving anything in return.  If you do not comply, you are called out as bigoted and intolerant.  If you expect reciprocation, you are called out as unsupportive and demanding.  They will demand public apologies for the slightest of infractions and call you a snowflake for expecting them to acknowledge their own mistakes.

Half Furries appreciate the traditions of our community, because they understand the value of being accepted.  They only wish to deny those benefits to those whom they do not want to accept.  Is that so wrong?

Since their inception, Furries have always been friendly and accepting to anyone who wishes to become a member of the community.  It is our tradition.  It is the bedrock of our existence.  Without this feature, we would cease to be Furries.  Furries like you understand this.  Half Furries, not so much.

~Sisyphus

Plan Your Idea

First, have an idea.  Then, start asking around to see if others are into the idea.  Try to ask more than one or two people.  You want to see if there is any interest at all.

If people like your idea, and especially if they seem excited about it, then you’ve got something.  What you may find is that when you are asking them about your idea, they will have other ideas that either improve, or slightly alter your idea.  Let this happen!

Use the altered idea as you ask more people.  Letting your idea evolve as you gain more interest will only make it more popular, since it will fit in with the ideas of your audience.

Also try to think ahead.  What details can you predict?  Try to think about how the whole thing will look from start to finish.  The more you predict and plan for before you actually do your event, the smoother it will run.  The more experience you get organizing meets, the better you will get at predicting what you will need to plan for, even when the events are very different.  You will find that most events have a lot of things in common.

Find A Venue

Once you have a good idea of what you want to accomplish, start searching in your area for a location that can accommodate your idea.  Once you’ve located some potential spots, don’t just call them.  First, go and see the place for yourself.  When I plan a meet that is going to be in the public, I go and see the potential locations before I even bother to call them.  I want to see what locations are clean, roomy, have a potential space for changing into fursuits, etc.  Visit at least locations (if you have that many options) before you decide.

Coordinate With The Management

Once you think you’ve found a good location, you can either speak to a manager in person, or you can call them.  Don’t just email.  Make a phone call.  Calling them can be helpful to you if you are a little nervous and do not feel comfortable speaking to them in person.  Eventually, you will get better at this and you will not mind talking to them in person.

Also, make sure you are speaking to the person who can make decisions.  Do not spend all your effort trying to ask questions or make plans with someone who does not have the authority to make promises.  Speak to the manager who is in charge!

The more you already know about your event idea, the easier it will be to talk to the manager about holding your event.  You should already know a good deal about what you want your event to look like before you talk to the manager.  This will give you good questions to ask and the manager will be able to make better suggestions based on your details.

The manager may ask you questions that you did not think of.  His questions may result in slight changes to your event plan.  That is ok!  Let this happen.  No plan survives enemy contact.  So, it is not a big deal if you have to make some adjustments to make your event idea fit within the venue.

You will also have to decide what parts of your idea are deal breakers and what parts can be changed without altering the point of your event.  Try not to be too rigid, but also try to remember why you are there.  As a good example, every time I have planned a bowling event, I would always ask if it would be ok to wear our fursuit feet on the bowling lane.  If the answer was no, I would look for another venue.  It makes no sense to plan a fursuit bowling event if half your suiters cannot wear their fursuits.

If you did a decent job of predicting what you will need for your event, and if the manager you spoke with had reasonable questions, the result of your conversation will likely have some slight changes to your idea, but they will be doable, and you will have a really clear picture of what is going to be happening for your event.  You should also have a good idea of what your event will cost.

It Is Not Always About The Money

Cost is not as important as you might think.  Yes, it is true that most poeple will not pay $100 to go ice skating, but you might surprised to learn that many people will pay $30 or $40 dollars for ice skating if it also includes food.  Or maybe you can include hot coco and a warm changing room.  Or if there is some kind of game involved with the event, so that it is not just skating.  If you can create something that has some value, people will pay.  Anyone would.

Do not just assume that if the cost is more than $5, no one will go.  If the cost is a little higher than you would like, try to find some way of increasing the value of what you are offering.  People will pay for a perceived value.

Small-Time Advertising

After you have planned your event and coordinated the details with the management of your chosen venue, you will need to start letting people know that you have an event.  It does not hurt to continue talking about your event with your friends even while you are planning the details.  This will only help you to get the word out for your event.

It will help you to advertise your event if you are part of local chat groups.  Publicize your event in as many ways as you can.

Be Positive

Also, be confident!  Do not tell people, “Yeah, it should be ok.  I kinda’ hope it will work, but I just don’t know.  Maybe it will flop.  I don’t know.”  When you advertise your event, people should believe that it will be the greatest thing they have ever done.  You do not have to feel this way!  Fake it ‘til you make it.  Your enthusiasm, even if it is a little bit phony, will catch on.  People will go to your event and spend their money if they are confident that they will have a good time.  If you want them to be confident, YOU have to be confident – even if you are faking it.

Let’s talk about something I just said to you.  People will spend their money, if they are confident that they will have a GOOD TIME.  No matter what your event is, you are only selling one thing – a GOOD TIME!  That means, anything you say about your event that goes against this principle is only hurting your event.  If the place is not as clean as you wish it were, do not tell people that.  If there is the potential that some local weirdo might show up, do not talk about that.  If you think the manager is a prick, do not mention it.  ANY negative details that you provide are excuses to NOT attend your meet.

This is just one of the reasons why I downplay all of the drama that everyone wants everyone else to frontload their meets with.  Any drama you associate with your meet before it happens will only hurt YOU!

The Home Stretch

You will find that 95% of organizing is done before even one person shows up to your event.  You will also find that no matter how often you organize events, there will always be last minute issues.  The fewer last minute issues you encounter, the better your organizing skills have become.  This is a great way to gauge your ability to organize, and it is also the best opportunity to improve your skills.  If you missed something during your planning and coordinating, it will not be hard to miss.  Next time, you will not forget that detail!

So, be prepared to answer questions and coordinate details with the manager on the spot.  No matter how good you are at organizing, there will always be a few small fires to put out at your event.  Do not take this as a sign that your event is falling apart.  It is just part of the process.

Moderating

You may encounter one or two problems that are entirely due to the fact that you foolishly decided to invite other human beings to your event.  Event attendees can be difficult to deal with.  Do not worry!  And, never let them see you sweat.  Be calm, stay rational, and listen to both sides carefully.  If you need to, step aside and take a few minutes to make your decision if the issue requires moderation.

Major issues are actually very easy to deal with.  Go get the manager.  They will ensure the safety of their customers and it is easy to lean on them to do major moderation.  Your biggest concern is knowing the difference between a major issue and a minor issue.  Here is a tip:  There are very few major issues.  That means that the likelihood that you will never encounter a major issue is very high.

Even if your entire group is running around screaming as though their hair were on fire, that does not mean it is a major issue.  As the organizer, it will be up to you to recognize what needs to be treated as a major issue and what can be dealt with by using just a little bit of simple moderation.  Every reasonable human being should be able to rationally present their issue and be heard while allowing the other person involved to do the same.  All you have to do in that case is calmly listen to both sides and then make your decision.  Decisions in this care are not that bad.  You will most likely find some compromise between the parties.  So many people will tell you this is not true.  So many people are wrong.  You will be fine.  Just be calm.

An Alternative To Moderating By Yourself

If you are worried that you will be a terrible moderator, try to find a few friends to do it for you.  Appoint them as the moderators of your event.  Ask them to act as a panel of judges to moderate issues when they arise.  Just make sure you choose calm heads.  Do not choose the most radical or hot-headed folks.  Find the most moderate, even-handed folks you can.  Choose 3 to avoid any stalemates when they make their decisions.

Give them these rules:

• Make sure they have a copy of YOUR rules. They are not here to make rules.  They are here to make judgements based on YOUR rules.
• The issue must be related to the event you are in right now. No one is here to solve daddy issues.
• The issue must be related to the rules of the current event. “He has orange hair today”, is probably not in the rules.
• They do not have to accept exactly what was demanded of them. The accuser may have an overly extreme idea of “justice”.  They should figure out what happened, and then decide what kind of a response would best fit the “crime”.

After you have given them this job, let them do it.  Do not keep stepping in to disrupt their decisions.  If you want them to make decisions, trust them to do that for you.  Back them up and they will back you up.

Judges will also serve as great cover for you.  If you get a complaint, you can always say, “What did the judges say?”  Now you can wash your hands of it, which is pretty friggin’ sweet, because drama is dumb.

~Sisyphus

Tell me if you have seen this before:  Some number of nameless, faceless furries on Twitter have decided that you are a Nazi, pedophile, zoophile, enabler, or just fill in the blank.  They are suddenly outraged that your local organizer allows you to attend his fur meets.  This cannot go on!

The Twitter hate mob then singles out the organizer of said event and harasses him until he capitulates.  Moments later, he sends you a dear John text message to inform you that you have been removed from the group.

Does that sound familiar?  Has this happened to you?  Has this happened to someone you know?  Are you still hoping that this won’t happen to you?

Now picture this:  Some number of furries on Twitter have decided you must be removed from some event they will never go to themselves, but it is still unacceptable to allow you to be there.  They contact the organizer to make their demands, fully expecting to get their way, because they always have.  However, the organizer is a member of your local union.  Even though he does not want to be called a Nazi sympathizer for allowing you to attend, he cannot simply remove you from the group.  He is bound by the bylaws to follow the proper procedure for punishing or removing a member of the group.

Two weeks later, before your meeting with the president of your local union, the whole thing has blown over and no one even remembers what you were being accused of.  So, the whole thing just evaporates, because no one cares enough about whatever it was you were being accused of to continue the process.

Picture another scenario:  The faceless hate mob on Facebook says you are not allowed to attend furry events, because it offends them that you are allowed to attend furry events.  They contact the organizer to harass him into compliance.  He is not a member of the union, so he sends you your walking papers.

You inform the president of your local union that you have just been shadow sniped by the mob, so he contacts your organizer to inform him that he, and all the members of the union, will now be boycotting his event until you are reinstated.  He then offers that organizer the opportunity to join their union, so that he can benefit from being a member, just like the furry he was trying to railroad, because internet hate mobs should not be allowed to harass and threaten meet organizers.

The extra layer of bureaucracy can shield an organizer as well, because they can say, “Hey guys, I love the idea.  You’re totally right, the guy’s a Nazi, but I can’t just remove him.  I have to follow the bylaws.  But I’ll go talk to the members right now and we can deal with it at our next meeting.  I promise!”  Then two weeks goes by and no one can even remember what the problem was and the whole thing just disappears, for the accuses, the accused, and for the beleaguered organizer who had an out that was given to him by the union bylaws.

What if any given furry convention wrote this one thing into their bylaws?

• Lodging Complaints
  1. No paying attendee will be disciplined or removed without an accuser.
  2. The accuser must be another paying attendee.
  3. The accuser must present themselves to the ops department in person.
  4. Three staff members, the accuser, and the accused will convene a meeting to discuss the issue.
  5. The accuser presents their issue(s).
  6. The accused presents their defense.
  7. The three staff members will deliberate and decide on an appropriate action.

This system would eliminate 99% of the frivolous complaints that have been lodged against members of our community.  The majority of accusations are conjured in the moment and enjoy only a brief life span.  Furthermore, most accusers are either not physically present, or they simply do not care enough about the issue to actually go and talk to someone about it.

Eliminate social media from the equation!  Elevate paying customers to their rightful place in the hierarchy of issues.  If you are present and you actually paid money to be there, your opinion is automatically more important than the opinion of some faceless coward on the internet.  If you are willing to step forward and present your issue, you are far more important than some faceless coward on the internet.  You deserve to be heard.  You deserve to be defended.

~Sisyphus

Perhaps one of the issues with our community is that it has officially grown too large to accommodate one set of ideals.  Clearly, some of the newer members have very different ideals than the older members.  This is not to separate specifically on the basis of age or time in the fandom.  Instead, some who hold that we must have gatekeepers and political standards have always been with us, but only until recently, they were not of a significantly large enough number to warrant any changes in the way we do business with one another.

Now that we seem to have enough members of this “new way”, perhaps that is merely a sign that the fandom has grown beyond the boundaries of just one way.

The solution, according to the members of this “new way”, is to force others into whatever box is chosen for them, compare them to some “new standard”, and exile them from the group.  Others are content to maintain the previous standard of “just deal with it”.  I think we are seeing that these two methods are in fact mutually exclusive.  They cannot be reconciled.  They are simply too different.

Instead of letting someone else choose for you what and where you will be, we should devise a solution that allows the individual to decide for themselves.  Think of it like a trip to the super market.  You browse the isles in search of what you want.  You can see your options.  You choose based on your personal preference.  No one tells you what to buy.  You decide that for yourself.

College fraternities are a similar experience.  You have choices.  You inspect the values and objectives of each, since they are publicly known, then you decide whose values and objectives are closest to your own.  The end result is that you are able to associate yourself with the assembly that you like best.  The choice is yours.  You are not required or forced to join any specific fraternity.  You decide that for yourself.

The beauty of a system like the fraternity system is that although they are separate entities with their own values and objectives, they are still considered a part of the school in which they reside.  They are part of a single system, with some shared values and objectives.  They are a collection of micro-systems that have their own values and objectives, all of which fit within the more generic values and objectives of the larger entity.

In the furry community, it might look like this:  The fandom as a whole is about artistic expression within the context of anthropomorphic characters.  The individual groups have the same goals, but with a finer point that has been defined to fit their specific community.  This is only to illustrate the concept.

Are you the leader of your local fur meet?  Imagine what it would look like if you sat down with your group and you all decided to write down your specific values and objectives.  What would your group’s “constitution” look like?  What would you include to make it specific to your group, in your area?

What specific values would you include in your constitution?  What protections would you include for the members of your group?  Would your group improve with the guarantee that you cannot be kicked out without some due process, or at least have the opportunity to defend yourself, or the opportunity to confront your accuser(s)?  Would being a member of your group have any benefits at all?  How would you enforce those protections or accomplish those benefits?  What would the structure of your group look like?  Would you, or should you, include elected positions?  How long would your officers remain in office?

If you built your constitution and bylaws together, wouldn’t you expect some type of agreement from the group?  How would you ratify your constitution and bylaws?  Would you require any special entry process?  Maybe it would be as easy as, “Sign here, if you want to be part of our group, because we have all agreed to follow these rules.”

A simple display of your values and objectives would tell new comers a lot about your group.  They can decide if you are the right fit for them.  You aren’t telling them yes or no, but they can decide for themselves if you are right for them.

What would your regularly assembled furry meetup look like if you added a constitution and bylaws?

What if you added an LLC layer?

Some things are simple and they should stay that way, but if your group seems to be experiencing some turmoil, then maybe you have grown beyond simple.  Maybe you need to declare your values and objectives, for clarity.  With some basic rules, and a system for enforcing those rules, you might find it much easier to regulate your assembly and maintain its focus without the confusion and in-fighting.  The fandom is a big place – and getting bigger all the time – so if there are a few who don’t like the definition, they can go to another group that is a better fit for them, or even start their own.

None of this is to suggest that these groups cannot work together, like the fraternities on a college campus.  They can still cooperate and coordinate with one another.  If anything, it would be easier to build large coordinated events with multiple groups involved.  The structure would make this level of coordination much easier and more successful.

What would your meet look like if it were structured, if you actually wrote down your values and objectives, and if you used elected officials?

-Sisyphus

You have celebrated this community’s history of inclusion and tolerance many times.  You have experienced the benefits of these principles yourself.  You know how valuable they are.  You know how indispensable they are.  Do you really want to see them go away?  Should we treat these pillars of our community with contempt after they have done so much for us?  Do you really want to know what our community would be like without these principles?

It is no secret that there is this new concept of meet organizing that excludes some members of our community based on personal biases.  Those biases are largely political, but some of them are purely social.  Whatever the purpose for the discrimination, I have done everything I can to avoid this “new wave” of organizing.

Not everyone is happy about that, but I can tell you that I am very happy with the results.  My meetups tend to be far more relaxed, social, and inviting, than those meetups where these “new” ideas have been implemented.  In fact, I tend to avoid those meets like the plague.  And, to be honest, even if I did go, I probably would not be welcome.  I do not fit in within their definition of “inclusion” and “tolerance”.

The True Meaning Behind Those Words

Let me clearly define the words we are using.  Inclusion means:  Everyone is welcome, regardless of race, religion, politics, or gender.  Tolerance means:  When you meet or hear of someone’s race, religion, politics, or gender, and it bothers you, you suck it up.  It is your responsibility to discipline your emotions against that individual for whatever reason you find them appalling.  You deal with it.  Rub some dirt on it.  Walk it off.

Inclusion and tolerance are always together, because you cannot have one without the other.  Inclusion cannot happen unless you are also willing to be tolerant of those who are different than you, and tolerance is meaningless unless you are willing to include those who are different than you.

External Force vs. Internal Strength

Enforcing inclusion and tolerance is NOT the job of the meet organizer.  It is NOT the job of the website admins.  It is NOT the job of the social media platform managers.  It is NOT the job of the police.  It is NOT the job of the politicians.  YOU, and only YOU, are responsible for adhering to the principles of inclusion and tolerance.  It can only be applied effectively through self-discipline, or it is not applied at all.  If you are fighting to enforce inclusion and tolerance through the powers of the gatekeepers, you are doing it wrong.  In fact, you are generating the opposite effect of inclusion and tolerance by promoting a method of enforcement that will only create an environment of exclusion and intolerance.

Rules that are created and enforced by centralized powers will inevitably result in bias and discrimination.

It is completely ineffective to use your leadership as a method for applying the principles of inclusion and tolerance to any group or meet.  You will only succeed in applying the personal biases of the leadership by using this method.  If you want the maximum amount of inclusion and tolerance for your group or meetup, you must apply those principles to yourself and by yourself.  Every individual within the group must BE inclusive and tolerant for those principles to take effect.  Otherwise, it does not exist and no amount of external enforcement will make any difference.  In fact, policing these principles by external force will only make them LESS effective.  If you truly want the maximum amount of inclusion and tolerance for your group or meet, you must allow the individuals within your group or meet to exercise those principles on their own, to the best of their ability.

The principles of inclusion and tolerance are applied internally, not externally.  It is not an expectation of others, but an expectation of yourself.  You do not require inclusion and tolerance of the community, you require inclusion and tolerance of yourself.  If you are not doing it, then it is not being done.  You are the source of these principles.  It is your responsibility to adhere to them.  These principles only work if you are the one who is exercising them.

The Power And Consequences Of Leadership

As the leader of your group, you can generate these principles in others by being the best example of these principles.  Leadership has unique social qualities.  Group leaders have special powers that other members of the group do not possess.  These powers are automatically bestowed upon you by your position as the leader of your group.  You obtain them through magic by speaking the incantation, “Hey guys, let’s meet up tomorrow!”  Using these powers, you can make profound changes in the behaviors of your members by “being” that which you wish to see more of.  If the members of your group are having trouble with inclusion and tolerance, that means you are the source of the problem.  This can hurt, but there is good news.  If you really want to see more inclusion and tolerance in your group, all you need to do is work on yourself.  You do not need to find ways to force others to become more inclusive or tolerant.  That would be impossible.  However, changing your own behavior is VERY possible!  If you are the leader of a group or meet, and you want to see more inclusion and tolerance in your group, be more inclusive and tolerant.

Groups of individuals are a reflection of the leadership.  This should not be confused with individual anomalies.  If one person is doing something that is clearly different than the rest of the group, that is not a reflection of the leadership.  Individuals are still individuals.  What I am talking about here is the behaviors and values of the group as a whole.  In a leadership position, you can evaluate yourself by observing your group’s values.  If the group is exclusive and intolerant, you can know that you are having a problem with those principles.  Therefore, if you have declared that you have found it necessary to enforce new rules that are meant to improve the inclusiveness and tolerance of the group, that is a declaration of your own weaknesses.  You have just announced to the group that you are the one who is not inclusive or tolerant enough.  Rather than improve your own actions, you have decided to force others to do the work for you.

Self-Discipline Is The Key

Our community can only function on self-discipline and personal responsibility.  Self-discipline and personal responsibility are the only methods by which our community can effectively apply the principles of inclusion and tolerance.  This begins with the leader and ends with any given individual within the group or meet.

Before you get on social media and accuse someone else of not adhering to the principles of inclusion and tolerance, you must ask yourself, “Am I practicing these principles in my own life?  If I were to step outside of myself and observe my own actions, would I be able to accuse that person of not being a good example of what it means to be inclusive and tolerant?”  You should also be asking yourself, “What is the one thing that I find the most difficult to include and tolerate?”  You should challenge yourself.  You should test yourself.  Then meet the challenge.  Apply what you discover about your own bias and do what you can to improve on that weakness.  If you are not doing it, then it is not being done.

The responsibility to be inclusive and tolerant of others is on you and you alone!

~Sisyphus

What is it that separates the Furry fandom from other sub-cultures?  It is the art.  In fact, art is the foundation of everything we do.  Art is the molecular substance that allows our community to exist!

To truly appreciate the depth of this truth, you must recognize just how far it goes.  It is not just art that allows our community to exist.  It is free expression.  Art, done right, is the ability to freely express oneself in a variety of ways, without restriction.

Without free expression, art would not exist.  It might be possible to create pictures and text and paintings and costumes without free expression, but those things would be dry, bland, and boring.  Art is not artistic when it is regulated, dictated, or controlled.  Art is the free expression of the soul.  Art is the free expression of emotions through skillful crafting of an idea in a physical medium until it can be conveyed in some form that others can appreciate.  Art, but its very nature, originates within the core of an individual and results in a solid state that can be observed by others.  The origin is internal, personal, and of the individual.

You know what I am talking about if you have ever been commissioned to create something artistic for someone else.  Have you ever noticed how much more difficult it is to be creative when someone else is dictating the details of the project you are working on?  Have you ever noticed how difficult it can be to work with another artist when you are the one dictating the details of the project?  Artists are notoriously difficult to work with, because art is the free expression of yourself.  It can be harnessed for other purposes, but art will always be out of its element when it is being used for anything other than the free expression of the one who is creating it.  That is why I always try to allow an artist whom I have commissioned to create the piece I am paying for in a way that affords them the maximum amount of leeway.  Yes, I have some details that must be adhered to if it is going achieve the results I am looking for.  However, I allow the artist to express my idea “their way”.  It is their interpretation of my project.

For art to be good, it must incorporate some level of free expression.  Art that is devoid of free expression is dry, stale, boring, and dead.

All this is to say that you, as a member of this community, can never adopt a mentality of regulation when it comes to art.  You MUST allow others to create art that is free from dictation, regulation, and “standards”.  Whether the content is political or social, art must be unbridled and unburdened of rules.  As a community, you must never use policy or public shaming to regulate the art we create.

Are there risks associated with free expression?  Yes.  There will always be inherent risks in allowing the free expression of ideas in any human society, but the inherent risks of free expression are far less than the inherent risks of strictly regulating “expression” in art.

Calls to restrict, regulate, demonetize, or shame the art that is created by others is anti-furry.  Furry, as a community, was built on the idea that you are free to express yourself through your art.  The push to remove this freedom from our fandom is a push to remove the cornerstone that our fandom was built on.  You cannot have real, true, quality art without free expression and there is no Furry community without real art.

-Sisyphus

I am old enough to remember when being a furry meant being open to anyone who walked in the door.  No one asked you anything about yourself unless they were genuinely curious about you.  No one was looking for a reason to eliminate you from the group.  There were no “disqualifying attributes” outside of the basic rules for civilized society.  Furries were just furries and nothing else mattered.

Those days are gone.  We have traded those values for new “values”.  Who do you pledge your allegiance to and what pronouns are you using?  The wrong answer will send you to the door.  The new environment is hostility, authoritarianism, and vitriol.

You would think I was talking about something that happened twenty years ago, but that is not the case.  In fact, even if you have only been in the fandom for about three years, you probably remember “the good old days” as much as I do.  These days, if you want “old school” furry meetups, you have to meet in secret, away from social media discourse and commentary.  Seriously, if you really want to kill your new meetup in the womb, just post an announcement on social media.  Unless you have an iron will, you will cancel your meet before the social media hate mob has a chance to do it for you.

I applaud those who are running their meets in secret.  Secret meets have enormous benefits.  I explain that here.  It is a positive side effect of living in the new, toxic environment.  Wide spread acceptance may be dead, but the cell group will thrive like never before.  I love my local group.  They are getting better every day.

This does not mean that you cannot hold public meets.  It does mean that if you want to do that, you will need to choose the hard right over the easy wrong.  The alternative to this will be to hold a public meet that publicly vows strict adherence to all the religious tenants of the furry hate mob.  You must PUBLICLY vow your elegance, or you will be targeted as a heretic.  And do not worry, they have ways of determining if you followed through with your public declaration.

It is easy to capitulate to the social media hate mobs who demand segregation and discrimination.  It will take a lot of discipline and an iron will to resist their demands in the face of threats and defamation.  If you want to hold a meet that adheres to those “old school” furry values, you need to be prepared for what the hate culture on social media will do to you.  There is no slander, accusation, or threat that is too great for anyone who refuses to bow to the new norm.  You must be a pioneer of the old ways and willing to accept the consequences for standing by your principles.  I do not necessarily recommend that you try it, but I do have a high level of respect for anyone who does try it.  Running public meets in today’s environment is not for the faint of heart.  Crafting a meet built on our values of actual tolerance is a lofty goal and you will pay dearly for your impertinence.

~Sisyphus

It is against the law to attack anyone physically.  You also have the right to bring anyone who attacks you into court.  However, it is perfectly legal to engage in mutual combat.  Neither of you is breaking the law and neither of you is liable.

I highly recommend that the next time someone threatens you with violence, you take the high road.  That does not mean that you turn the other cheek or walk away.  It means that you should challenge that individual to mutual combat.  In other words, you should say to them, “Let’s take this outside, asshole.  We’ll settle this like men.”  Do not be confused by the language here.  Females can do this too!

Do not stand idly by while thugs and cowards threaten you, your freedom, or your way of life.  If they really hate you and if they really want to see you suffer, give them that opportunity on a silver platter!  Make the bold offer to go into the parking lot and settle up, one-on-one, mano e mano.  It is perfectly legal and you cannot lose.

Are you confused at the idea that you cannot lose?  What if they are bigger than you?  What if they are clearly stronger than you?

You are not seeing the whole picture.  There are so many avenues for success in this scenario that go well beyond the fight itself.  In most cases, physical combat between two people who hate each other results in a sense of mutual respect that did not exist before you took a punch in the face.  Even if they beat you in physical combat, you will still land a few good punches.  That will hurt!  No one wants to be in a situation where they can be hurt.  Knowing that you are capable of hurting them will make them respect you more.  More importantly, knowing that you are willing to hurt them, even if it means putting yourself in a tough spot, will make them respect you.

There is more to this.  Most cowards who threaten violence at the drop of a hat are not willing to go through with it.  This is something that kids used to learn on the playground when bullies came around.  Bullies are looking for easy targets.  Kids who are willing to fight back, even if they lose, are anything but easy targets.  Fighters always win, mostly because they are willing to step up and most bullies are not willing to risk that much.  It is highly likely that your opponent will back down the moment you illustrate your willingness to take them to the next level.  And what have you done wrong by offering to give them what they want?  If they are into the idea of punching you, then offer them the risk-free opportunity to get it.  Two opponents in mutual combat is not wrong, even in the eyes of the law.

The benefits of a fight just keep on going, especially if you make it public.  You can go into the parking lot alone, or you can go at it in a crowd.  Prove yourself to all your friends if that is what you think you need to do.  I highly recommend a moderator to look after the rules.  Make this a gentlemen’s duel.  No kicking when the other is down.  The fight continues as long as you are both on your feet.  You fight until someone cries uncle or until someone cannot get up.  Fight to the end!  Fight to win!  Fight for whatever it is you think you need to be fighting for.  Win or lose, you stood up for yourself!  Not only will your opponent be forced to respect you, but so will your friends – and his friends too.  I can also guarantee you that whatever it was that led you to believe that you needed to swing bare knuckles for will suddenly not feel so important.  You will choose your words more carefully next time.  So will your opponent!

There is more!  Those who observe this combat will either be inspired or rehabilitated.  They may be inspired to stand up for themselves.  One-on-one.  Get it over with!  Challenge that asshole to stand and fight or shut the fuck up!  Or they will see the light and realize the error of their ways.  They will either reconcile themselves to those people they have been antagonizing or they will simply shut the fuck up and go away.  Either way, the end result is perfect.  The violent talk is over.  The tough talk will end and the dedicated will pony up and the bullies will disappear.  Real men and women will win the day, respect among peers will be reinstated, and we can all go back to the world as it should be.  And if all this fails to occur, then you can guarantee there will be at least one great benefit to the community – they will love it!  Everybody loves a good fight!

Do not talk tough unless you really mean it.  And if you do really mean it, be the first person to offer the opportunity to make it real.  No cops.  No lawyers.  One-on-one.  Mano e mano.  No weapons.  No outside help.  No kicking or punching when someone goes down.  You fight until someone gives in or cannot stand.  Gentlemens’ rules and you fight until it is over.  Bring a moderator if you need one.  Set a time and a place.  Do the whole community a favor and let them in on the plan.  Everybody wins, no matter who wins!

Come at me, bro.  Let’s settle this like men.

-Sisyphus

This is a continuation of an earlier article.  If you want to see the whole series, go back to the first article and you will find links to every part that came afterward.

Religion is essentially the study of human nature and morality.

Religion will teach you that your best option for illustrating your ability to be good is found in your willingness to serve others.  The humility that comes from selfless service is an indispensable character trait.  Without it, you can never be happy.  Also, your only option for serving God is found in serving others.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

– Matthew 25:34-40

Selfless service becomes much easier with gratitude.  You will be more likely to engage in service towards others when you realize what great service has been done for you, your own intrinsic value, and that others have that same value.  People who do not engage in any form of service and who have no gratitude are the worse sort of people.  Do they look happy to you?  Selfless service that grows from a sense of gratitude is vital to a happy existence.  And it will make you bulletproof.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”

– John 3:16-17

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.”

– Matthew 18:12-14

The idea here is not that we are all valuable as a collective.  The lesson is that we are all, individually, valuable – with or without the group.  If you were the only person on earth, God would have sent his Son to die, just for the sake of receiving the mere possibility that you and He might have a relationship.  He doesn’t even get a guarantee for his payment.  He is only buying the chance that He might receive what He paid for.

What would you give everything for?  What in this world has so much value to you that you would pay virtually anything, not for the actual item, but merely for the chance that you might receive it one day?

The value of that item would have to be far more than anything you have ever known.  In the eyes of God, that item is you!

Do you think the opinion of some anonymous fool on social media will really matter in comparison to the realization that you have this much value in the eyes of someone who could have anything and anyone?

God will do more for your sense of personal value, your feelings of gratitude, and your desire to be of service to others, than anything else in this world.  You will be happier, you will be more useful to the world around you, and you will be stronger.

Go get some religion!

-Sisyphus

Quite often, the only thing that separates a very negative message from a very positive message is your perception.  Perception can be altered by appropriating that negative message and changing its association.

For example, let’s look at these “Nazis Fuck Off” ribbons.  The primary issue with these ribbons is that they currently possess an outward association.  We perceive – correctly so – that the intent is to associate this statement with someone other than the wearer.  This framing gives you a mental association.  You are forced to ask yourself, “Who are they referring to?”  This, of course, causes you to wonder if they are referring to you, since there is no clear definition for the term “Nazi”.  Has the term been generalized enough to encompass you?

Instead of being angry or offended, and instead of responding to that message with your own negative message, you can take control of this narrative by appropriating the symbol and changing its association.  What if you had your ribbon that told YOU to fuck off?  For example, if you are a bunny, what would it look like if you wore an identical ribbon that said, “Bunnies Fuck Off”?  Wouldn’t this be taken as a joke?  Aren’t you intentionally telling yourself to fuck off?  This becomes self-deprecating humor.  Self-deprecating humor is the most effective and safe form of humor there is.  No one can be offended because you are the target of your own statement.  You are making fun of yourself.  This type of humor nearly always gets a laugh and it is virtually victimless.

Imagine if everyone had an identical ribbon that said, “<insert your own species> Fuck Off”.  Imagine everyone – or even a moderate number – wearing these ribbons.  All of them are self-deprecating statements.  Every time you see one, you laugh.  This would be in sharp contrast to the feeling you got from the original ribbon.  Wouldn’t this make you feel much better?  And wouldn’t it make you feel much better knowing that you are making others laugh, even if it is at your own expense?  You are using a selfless method of delivering a good feeling to other furs.

Do not let the world control how you feel.  Use the weapons that are formed against you and redefine that message into something useful and positive.  You do not have to accept any message that you are given!  You have the power to change how you see things.  Even better than that, you have the power to change how your community sees things.

What would have happened if this same tactic had been used on armbands?  What positive messages are possible with armbands?  What are some fun ways you can appropriate and redefine that message?

Deliver the message you want to be a part of.  Remember that our community is ultimately about FUN!  Make your version of every message something fun.

-Sisyphus